It's such a mess in my house. Not an ordinary mess, but a really special kind of major project mess. And every single day, I get to choose--what's important right now?
When my boys were little I got so overwhelmed by the mess and the feeling of having little control over what happened. I believe it would be different now, that my years of practicing mindfulness have changed me from that person who freaked out about almost every little thing to a person who can let lots of little things roll off her back, from a person who was confused about every single boundary to a person who sets lots of boundaries clearly and lovingly.
But I feel tested. Can I even really handle the confusion, helplessness, and frustration going on in my house right now? Can I bring presence and acceptance to this small and pretty short-term disruption? It's a small test compared to being the mom of little ones!
I remind myself to I ask (again), what is actually important right now? How the house looks or the fact that we're all here together? Where we've already gotten or the path we're on? The fact that we're growing together as a family or the growing pains? I'm sure you can relate in your own way. Are you more focused on the mess or the experience? The product or the process? And I breathe.
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness has changed my life, helping me to make peace with myself as I truly am and to appreciate my family, life, and the world as they actually are.