When we have the rough times in relationships that I wrote about yesterday (in 'Mistakes Will Be Made'), it's good to know how to repair the cracks.
But it isn't usually wise to immediately try to repair the relationship. Slow down and look at yourself. Explore what's going on for you. How are you feeling? Where are you broken or dried out? Where did the emotions come from? Are you tired? Are you feeling cared for?
Most of us want to skip over this step and tend to rush to outer 'fixes,' but I encourage you (and me) to slow down! Take the time to find the cracks within yourself and contemplate how to heal or fix them. What do you really need to heal or repair?
Once you care for yourself, it will be easier to repair cracks in the relationship because you'll be able to approach that work in a deeper, more sustainable way. 'Fixing' the relationship without understanding why we are angry or frustrated or reactive will only create a temporary patch, leaving us prone to fall into the same reactivity next time things are difficult.
image by timlewisnm
My life and work are guided by the these core understandings: that all beings (including me!) are capable of transformation and joy, that healthy parenting matters profoundly, and that simple practices can support each of us.