Yesterday I wrote the post Children Have Their Own Path and Purpose, about my belief that all children come in our lives with their own path, plan, and purpose. Seeing my children as they are is my most important work. All other parenting is built upon seeing them.
Please join me this week in spending time being curious about our children. Let's look not through the lens of what they 'should' be or what is normal which only sees them in comparison to others, but through a more open lens.
Can you make a list of adjectives that describe your child? If possible, use non-judging words, looking beyond words that may focus on your child's affect on you (easy, difficult, lovable, needy) and considering more neutral words (active, careful, calm, bold).
As you think about that child, consider how they respond to:
How do they approach:
How do they handle:
When do they turn toward you and when do they turn away?
Do they have characteristic behaviors (cuddling up in a blanket? standing on a swing?)?
What do you notice about their facial expressions and gestures?
As a mom (to 2 teenage sons), wife, and person in the world, I have been on a long imperfect journey. I have made many mistakes, but with mindfulness, emotional reflection, and lots of support I have learned enormously from those mistakes.