I've been writing a lot about judgment over the past few days. After yesterday's post about letting our kids see how much we admire them, I started thinking about myself. There have been times when my kids have let me see how they admire me. Not every day, definitely. And there's lots of eye-rolling and cracking on how weird I am in between times. But once in a while, one of them just sees me and let's me know.
Sometimes they mean to do it, maybe it's something they've been thinking about. Other times it just slips out, maybe they assume I already know and just refer to it casually.
Sometimes I minimize or deflect the compliment, something like 'Yeah, it's good I do okay with somethings, I'm usually such a mess.' But I'm learning to savor their good opinion. Learning to know there are lots of things about my parenting that are fabulous, and that my kids actually get and see some of those things. Learning to appreciate the parent-child relationship from another angle.
Do you know how your kids admire you (whether they say it or not)? Take some time to think about it and savor it. If you're really brave, ask them about it.
As a mom (to 2 teenage sons), wife, and person in the world, I have been on a long imperfect journey. I have made many mistakes, but with mindfulness, emotional reflection, and lots of support I have learned enormously from those mistakes.