Why Do I Get So Upset With My Kid?

What's so hard about parenting isn't their emotions, it's our emotions!

When my kids didn't listen to me, I got triggered. And I thought it was their fault! That put the responsibility for my emotional well-being and behavior firmly onto my children.

I really knew, of course, that my feelings weren't their fault. Still, something deeply rooted in my nervous system got overwhelmed, felt helpless, and took over much of the time when I was upset.

Learning to notice the feelings in myself,
to name them,
to feel them in my body, and most importantly,
to tend to them and parent the big feelings that can so easily hijack me when I don't prioritize them,
has made big changes in how I relate to my kids.

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