'They Shouldn't Be that Way'

Whenever I think someone shouldn't be how they are--

• shouldn't be angry,
• shouldn't be loud,
• shouldn't be needy,
• shouldn't be selfish,
• shouldn't be intolerant. . .

I have to come back to myself, noticing my own experience. I don't like what I feel, the discomfort, confusion, anger. . .

When I turn inward and tend to my own discomfort, interesting things happen. Body sensations and feelings arise and, with time, fall away. My heart opens to myself and the shadowy place within me that is react. Magically, my heart also opens to the person I was upset with.

Sometimes this leaves me able to be present for them in their anger or pain. Other times it moves me to speak, perhaps saying something that's scary for me to say or painful for them to hear. After caring for my own uncomfortable feelings, my voice is clearer, gentler, and at the same time closer to truth.

The moments that I want to push something away become my teachers when I allow them to be.

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