THE IMPERFECT JOURNEY
  • Home
  • Counseling
    • Resources
  • Parenting
  • Astrology
    • Register
    • Astrology information form
  • About
  • Blog

Kids See Themselves as We See Them

7/23/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Children, teens, young adults, even fully grown adults are incredibly perceptive about what their parents think of them. When we're little, we think our parents are all-knowing and all-powerful, so their opinion of us shapes our own beliefs about ourselves. We live up to their expectations or down to their judgments in many ways.

When children hear us talk about them in judging ways, it is especially devastating, but even when they never hear us name specific judgments they sense them. Partly, they sense them through that amazing kid-radar that is so attuned to us that they read our emotions and thoughts more clearly than we read ourselves. And partly they sense them because even when we don't name judgments explicitly, we imply them in our words and actions.

Are you skeptical that this really happens with your child? Consider if there's something about you that disappointed or worried your mom or dad. Can you think of something, either in childhood or adolescence? If so, how do you know? I remember my mom clucking her tongue about how I dressed or had my hair cut. She didn't directly tell me that she wanted me to get it together and look nicer, but it was clear. It was a small thing, but had an impact. We all probably carry deeper and more personal feelings baggage related to our parents' judgment or disappointment in us.

Remembering old stuff from our parents can help us to excavate the stuff we may be sending our kids. Are there things that bug or worry you about your child? Ways you're afraid for them or wish they handled things differently? Of course there are, right? We all have some of these things. How do you think your child interprets the things you say or do that relate to them? What might their story be about how you feel and what you think? Is there a way to send them a message that's more consistent with what you want them to learn from you?

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About Gloria:

    I'm a person on a messy journey--healing, learning, discovering and rediscovering. Sharing, writing, talking, and teaching help me to understand myself and the world more clearly. I hope it can help make your journey a easier, too.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    April 2022
    March 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2020
    September 2019
    August 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Adolescence
    Awareness
    Boundaries
    Communication
    Control
    Curiosity
    Discipline
    Emotions
    Gratitude
    Imperfection
    Interdependence
    Love
    Mindfulness
    Over-thinking
    Peace
    Poetry
    Presence
    Recommended Books
    Routines
    Self Care
    Small Moments
    Sovereignty
    Strategies
    Stress
    Teaching
    The Shadow

Join email list

* indicates required

Gloria Shepard, M. Ed.

215 313-8587
gloriashepard@gmail.com


“The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

Photos used under Creative Commons from kellynphillong, baofengwuya, benjaflynn, adrianvfloyd, @lattefarsan, Toon van Dijk - Art, Jeromy_S, Infomastern, Aaron T. Goodman, built4love.hain, MaxIFaleel, Nick Harris1, Agnes_F, Pai Shih, Sten Dueland, astrologyphotographywesildssharon, donnierayjones, amira_a, www.FrancescoToluPhotography.com, US Department of Education, Bev Goodwin, Michel Curi, byzantiumbooks, Life Lenses, x1klima, la cegna, Franklin Park Library, Bambi Corro, Jerk Alert Productions, young@art, Army Medicine, built4love.hain, Brian Lane Winfield Moore, asim chaudhuri(anurupa_chowdhury_yahoo.co.in, Malmerio_, AndresRSaenz, markus spiske, davitydave, torbakhopper, vastateparksstaff, USDAgov, John Pannell, Kevin M. Gill, Philippe Put, dan_walk, Mikael Colville-Andersen, jeffreyw, Harald Groven, thejaan, Franck_Michel, tompagenet, Ruth and Dave, Iuri Medeiros, gagilas, Philippe Put, mru24, Sports Cars Fan, Filip Chudoba Performance., ThoseGuys119, Rod Waddington, mohd fahmi, chefranden, _dChris, donnierayjones, vwynx, Drew's Photo Shoots, quinn.anya, _Dinkel_, Luis Marina, Nithi clicks, torbakhopper, donnierayjones, edenpictures, Daddy-David, mikecogh, Joey Z1, Rod Waddington, donnierayjones, beltz6, Daddy-David, quinn.anya, stevendepolo, N Medd, www.audio-luci-store.it, Nithi clicks, aqua.mech, dickdotcom, x1klima, donnierayjones, andrewtoskin, urbanlatinfemale, Ronnie Macdonald, thejaan, Dean Hochman, Henry Hemming, Jim Bauer, beltz6, 3liz4, iggyshoot, kellyv, donnierayjones, Donna McNiel, Chris Hunkeler, torbakhopper, Felipe Fernandes Photography, Www.CourtneyCarmody.com/, roseannadana: Thank you for 3 million views, velmegunar, kiera.chan, Tomek Nacho, tdlucas5000, gagilas, Keoni Cabral, The U.S. Army, Street Photography Addict, jasonbolonski, Contando Estrelas, Barbara Bonanno BNNRRB, rayography, Simon Blackley, Simon Blackley, uyht, rachel_titiriga, kellyv, pixiduc, Pleuntje, alexisjordanlewis, Tony Webster, samswitzer, tedeytan, Keoni Cabral, meeekn, maf04, Mark J Devine, #ZS, ordjuret, rcadby14, Art Dino, Mr Moss, darraghoconnor12, cogdogblog, Daddy-David, Jim Larrison, myeralan, Eric Kilby, eekim, Tatters ❀, jakesmome, ragesoss, Charlie Day DaytimeStudios, T I M E L E S S, ScottMPhotos1, donnierayjones, ToGa Wanderings, rendy cipta muliawan, **** j a z z z i ***
  • Home
  • Counseling
    • Resources
  • Parenting
  • Astrology
    • Register
    • Astrology information form
  • About
  • Blog