Heart-Centered Parenting

This week's theme is emerging as parenting from the heart. It started with Sunday's mindfulness practice and continued with Monday's Uncertainty.

For several day the words 'heart-centered' have been rattling around in my mind. I've been reflecting on how my own parenting has transformed over the years, on my experience as a teacher, and on what the kids I know are experiencing in most schools.

It's so clear that kids need heart-centered relationships. Connection is more than a luxury, it is a survival need. When children know they are cared about, everything goes better. They are more cooperative, receptive, and respectful at home, not because they have to be but because they are just moved to be.

​They are more cooperative at school, too, and actually learn better (see Improving Students' Relationships with Teachers to Provide Essential Supports for Learning from the American Psychological Association and A Case for School Connectedness by Robert Blum, both articles which cite a number of research studies).

How heart-centered is your home? Is there a way to strengthen your connection with your child? Today, consider adding a heart connection to your regular life at home. Imagine how it would be if you couldn't say "I love you," you could only show it. How would you do it?

Here are a few simple ways to add connection with your child:

• Smile  without saying anything when they walk into the room,
• Hug them,
• Make time to greet them with friendly eye contact and no agenda each time you see them,
• Tell them at bedtime that you look forward to seeing them in the morning,
• Put a picture of them somewhere that you'll see if often and let them notice it,
• Listen without interrupting or reacting while they talk,
• Put aside work, your phone, or other distractions to be fully present with them at bedtime.

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