If you are a parent of teens, or will soon be a parent of teens, do yourself a favor and read Breathe Through This: Mindfulness for Parents of Teenagers by Eline Snel. What I most love about this book is that it offers mindfulness tools that help us to be with the complexity of parenting teens in an open-hearted and vulnerable way.
Eline Snel has taught mindfulness to many parents and teens, but more importantly she writes from her experience as a mom. Her voice is real and authentic as she offers suggestions for showing up in a clear and firm, loving and forgiving way. She offers practices that can help you to do that rather than just feel like you should do that.
Excerpts that you may enjoy:
"These are the principles for genuine communication with your child:
Take your child seriously
Talk with respect and honesty
Put off giving ready-made answers
Ask yourself whether your words are helpful or hurtful
Be prepared to listen to what you may not want to hear."
"If there is tension about an issue that cannot be resolved very easily (computer use, boundaries, household tasks, nights out, alcohol, and so on), start by looking at your intention, your initial impulse to say something, and your nonverbal attitude. What can you notice about the sound and tone of your voice? What questions are you asking your teenager to find out what's really going on? Become aware of all of those moments when you expect yourself to help, want to resolve something right away, or want to impose your own will where you may not need to."
I'm a person on a messy journey--healing, learning, discovering and rediscovering. Sharing, writing, talking, and teaching help me to understand myself and the world more clearly. I hope it can help make your journey a easier, too.