Going Deep In Our Families

Starting even a small project in an old house sometimes uncovers hidden structural issues (see Going Deep), and it's the same in our families. Even something that seems like a straightforward behavioral issue--"Why won't my child fall asleep?" or "Why don't my kids listen to me?"--is probably going to uncover some deeper, underlying issues.

It may uncover our own family and emotional patterns from childhood, patterns that may not even be conscious and may actually conflict with our parenting philosophy. It may uncover a shaky connection between child and parent, confusion about leadership, communication differences, or something completely different.

Resolve a problem at the surface level may seem simple, but it's like my fixing the top layer of my floors without uncovering underlying structural issues, building a new subfloor, leveling the joists, or preparing the surfaces. It might look nice at first, but before long the old problems will re-emerge!

So even though digging into family challenges can be uncomfortable, it gives you the chance to do the deeper work that comes up in every family.

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