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Happy Father's Day! I hope you enjoy this poem by one of my favorite poets, David Whyte. I think this speaks so beautifully of the true nature of a father--loving presence, courage, acceptance, and vulnerability.
MY DAUGHTER ASLEEP Carrying a child, I carry a bundle of sleeping future appearances. I carry my daughter adrift on my shoulder, dreaming her slender dreams and I carry her beneath the window, watching her moon lit palm open and close like a tiny folded map, each line a path that leads where I can't go, so that I read her palm not knowing what I read and walk with her in moon light on the landing, not knowing with whom I walk, making invisible prayers to go on with her where I can't go, conversing with so many unknowns that must know her more intimately than I do. And so to these unspoken shadows and this broad night I make a quiet request to the great parental darkness to hold her when I cannot, to comfort her when I am gone, to help her learn to love the unknown for itself, to take it gladly like a lantern for the way before her, to help her see where ordinary light will not help her, where happiness has fled, where faith cannot reach. My prayer tonight for the great and hidden symmetries of life to reward this faith I have and twin her passages of loneliness with friendship, her exiles with home coming, her first awkward steps with promised onward leaps. May she find in all this, day or night, the beautiful centrality of pure opposites, may she discover before she grows old, not to choose so easily between past and present, may she find in one or the other her gifts acknowledged. And so as I helped to name her I help to name these powers, I bring to life what is needed, I invoke the help she'll want following those moonlit lines into a future uncradled by me but parented by all I call. As she grows away from me, may these life lines grow with her, keep her safe, so with my open palm whose lines have run before her to make a safer way, I hold her smooth cheek and bless her this night and beyond it and for every unknown night to come.
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The Summer Day
by Mary Oliver Who made the world? Who made the swan, and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down - who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Mary Oliver is an amazing observer and a master of quiet moments. We all need this kind of experience! I was talking with someone recently about spending what I think must have been hours watching clouds when I was a kid. Nothing else to do, no reason to get anywhere or hurry. How can we help today's children to have that quiet time?
 At the center of conscious parenting is the understanding that children have their own purpose, path, and choices to make. They don't come to us so we can train or teach them to be something. Our work as parents is much more subtle and responsive! My favorite expression of this approach to children is Sweet Honey in the Rock's song 'On Children' based on a chapter of Kahlil Gibran's inspiring book, The Prophet. Please, join me by starting the week reading this beautiful essay and listening to Sweet Honey in the Rock's interpretation! From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran: And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.  Today, if you've been following my posts so far this week, maybe you are already thinking about things you love about yourself? Write a list of 5 wonderful things about YOU.
Is it getting easier? Or harder? Do you ever notice something positive about yourself in the midst of your day? Or when you're falling asleep at night? If so, keep going! If not, keep going!! :) And are you aware of your needs already today? Can you feel that you deserve to meet those needs? Keep on finding ways to take good care of yourself! If You Would Grow - Shine the Light Of Loving Self-Care On Yourself If you would grow to your best self Be patient, not demanding Accepting, not condemning Nurturing, not withholding Self-marveling, not belittling Gently guiding, not pushing and punishing For you are more sensitive than you know Mankind is as tough as war yet delicate as flowers We can endure agonies but we open fully only to warmth and light And our need to grow Is as fragile as a fragrance dispersed by storms of will To return only when those storm are still So, accept, respect, and attend your sensitivity A flower cannot be opened with a hammer. -Daniel F. Mead START CLOSE IN
by David Whyte Start close in, don't take the second step or the third, start with the first thing close in, the step you don't want to take. Start with the ground you know, the pale ground beneath your feet, your own way of starting the conversation. Start with your own question, give up on other people's questions, don't let them smother something simple. To find another's voice, follow your own voice, wait until that voice becomes a private ear listening to another. Start right now take a small step you can call your own don't follow someone else's heroics, be humble and focused, start close in, don't mistake that other for your own. Start close in, don't take the second step or the third, start with the first thing close in, the step you don't want to take. What's the first step for you as a parent? The one you don't want to take? The humble, non-heroic one? The conversation that it's time to start? Take that step today. Peace is This Moment Without Judgment by Dorothy Hunt Do you think peace requires an end to war? Or tigers eating only vegetables? Does peace require an absence from your boss, your spouse, yourself? … Do you think peace will come some other place than here? Some other time than Now? In some other heart than yours? Peace is this moment without judgment. That is all. This moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome. Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgment, this moment in the heart-space where everything that is is welcome. Today I enjoyed a day-long retreat, 'Making Friends with Yourself' with some beautiful people. Deep mindfulness practices help us to do that, make friends with ourselves. We remember that calm, clear place where our true self lives. We make peace with our whole selves, including the harder parts.  |
About Gloria:I'm a person on a messy journey--healing, learning, discovering and rediscovering. Sharing, writing, talking, and teaching help me to understand myself and the world more clearly. I hope it can help make your journey a easier, too. Archives
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