Sometimes I go to bed feeling so grateful, having had a rich conversation with one of my teens, having stayed connected with my husband through a disagreement, or knowing that I did good work with a family that needed some help. The next day I may read someone's post on social media or get unpleasant news about a child's grade or an unexpected bill and suddenly feel inadequate and low.
The beauty of my life is not always visible and tangible to me. It's as though that beauty comes and goes depending on how well I've slept, whether I taught a class that went well, or how my kids are talking with me. But what's true is that the beauty is always right here, and I just need to be wise enough to see it.
Instead of insulating myself against jealousy or worry or fear, I only need to tune in to the constant, steady source of beauty in my own heart and soul. It's a choice that I can make.
n low moments, it helps to feel the lowness (to follow up yesterday's post, to Notice it, Acknowledge it, Accept it, and Move on). And then to intentionally, purposely remind myself of the beauty and joy that I find in my life. In the ways that there's imperfect but strong love in my relationships with my sons and husband. In the work I do that gives me a sense of purpose and interconnection. And in small things like my garden--picking fresh arugula and turning it into dinner, yum.
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness has changed my life, helping me to make peace with myself as I truly am and to appreciate my family, life, and the world as they actually are.