I find myself saying (inwardly and outwardly) 'I can't do this' pretty often. 'I can't keep the house clean,' 'I can't make these kids get along,' 'I can't do everything on my list.' Recently I was feeling the 'I can't do it' feeling and sat with it. I noticed that there was something attached, an almost hidden 'but I should be able to' tacked on like a little monster that had sneaked into my mind.
When I noticed it, the unconscious shame that's always lurking came right out in the open. It felt horrible. I made some space for it and just felt it, recognizing the truth that there's so much that I can't do. I cried, feeling inadequate, angry, frustrated, sad, and maybe most of all, helpless. After that, I felt a bit better, more free and spacious.
Do you have little monsters lurking in your mind? Monsters that tell you how you should be, how your kids should be, how the world should be? For Halloween, maybe join me in bringing them into the open.
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness helps me find peace with my imperfect journey--being with myself as I truly am, loving my family as they are, and showing up for a messy world with openness and compassion.