Getting lost in the past or the future, I lose touch with what is real. I worry about what might happen, actually imagining the experiences in detail and living through them mentally, emotionally, and even physically as my heart speeds and my muscles tense. I dwell on mistakes that I've made in the past--wishing I could change them rather than making my best choices right now!
So I remind myself, even in the midst of something difficult, to come into this moment, opening to what is. I gently loosen the grip my mind has on the past and future and bring it back, maybe many times, to this moment. I notice the choices I can make now. When I can, I choose to be spacious, making choices once my mind, emotions, and body settle so that I can choose from a calm, neutral perspective.
I remember that right now, I'm okay, even though I may be feeling upset or angry or sad or worried. That right now, I'm okay, even though my mind is racing to all sorts of stories. And that right now, I'm okay even though my body may be sick, tired, flooded with adrenaline, or otherwise feeling lousy.
I let time slow down, let myself slow down, and let the impulsive reactions fall away. Pretty soon, things get a bit clearer.
As a mom (to 2 teenage sons), wife, and person in the world, I have been on a long imperfect journey. I have made many mistakes, but with mindfulness, emotional reflection, and lots of support I have learned enormously from those mistakes.