I feel impatient. Even as I recognize and shift newly-recognized but long-festering patterns in myself that contribute to the messes in my own life and the world, I am frustrated by my glacially slow movement. Like eroding layers of stone, each pattern that I see and shift in myself seems to reveal more ways that I am not only creating my own suffering but also contributing to the suffering of other people and the earth.
I am frustrated at home with what seems stuck. I am struggling with what is so clearly 'wrong' with the world. As I read the 'me, too' stories, I feel my heart break. I know these stories are a small part of what could be told, many more are too personal or cloaked in shame or denial.
This discomfort is what my my mom used to call growing pains. I am feeling the labor pains of birthing a New Earth. It's okay and it's hard. A walk in the cool air and crunchy fall leaves will help me to reset, along with that dark chocolate I just enjoyed as I sat with my pain, and yours, loving us and holding us and invoking the support of our Mother.
Image Mother Earth by Jenness Cortez Perlmutter
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness helps me find peace with my imperfect journey--being with myself as I truly am, loving my family as they are, and showing up for a messy world with openness and compassion.