When we look at a child, we can see their dirty rooms, their unfinished thank-you notes, their messy faces, or we can see THEM.
Which have you been seeing? It's easy to focus on improving, teaching, or even 'fixing' kids rather than seeing and connecting with them.
Last week I was leading a meditation and a student shared an insight she had received from our very wise teacher, "Send your daughter the message--'I love you exactly as you are right now.'" What a great message, right? Let's do it. Let's tell our kids, with our words and our body language, eye contact, smiles, and everything, "I love you, exactly as you are right now."
Drop the conditions, the 'I'll be happy with you when . . . ' and get down to the real truth. The truth is, we really do love them exactly as they are. Worries, busyness, and our own emotional stuff can get in the way of expressing that love, but it's in us. If we let it out and flood them with love and acceptance, imagine how that could change this week. I'm working on it, starting now.
As a mom (to 2 teenage sons), wife, and person in the world, I have been on a long imperfect journey. I have made many mistakes, but with mindfulness, emotional reflection, and lots of support I have learned enormously from those mistakes.