Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's The Whole Brain Child is a great book! If you haven't read it yet, check it out. This book offers a helpful approach based on really understanding our children and why they behave as they do. As we understand, we can work with them rather than against them.
Some favorite quotes:
“One reason big feelings can be so uncomfortable for small children is that they don’t view those emotions as temporary.”
“When a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs. We call this emotional connection “attunement,” which is how we connect deeply with another person and allow them to “feel felt.” When parent and child are tuned in to each other, they experience a sense of joining together.”
“Sometimes parents avoid talking about upsetting experiences, thinking that doing so will reinforce their children’s pain or make things worse. Actually, telling the story is often exactly what children need, both to make sense of the event and to move on to a place where they can feel better about what happened.”
I love the 'refrigerator sheets' included in this book, cheat sheets that you can glance at for help in the midst of confusing parenting issues!
My life and work are guided by the these core understandings: that all beings (including me!) are capable of transformation and joy, that healthy parenting matters profoundly, and that simple practices can support each of us.