Sometimes instead of moving forward, we need to back way up, strip things down, and work with the oldest and most basic layers.
That's what's been happening at my house as we tackle some major and long-overdue projects. Of course, like every project in an old house, things are much more complicated than we expected. And to replace the flooring we (and by 'we' I mean my husband) have to strip things back to the joists and deal with structural issues that have been hidden under our junky floors.
It's also what's been happening in me inwardly over the past many years. I wanted to just get better--to calm my temper, get along with my family, have better boundaries, be happier and kinder. But the only way to get there was to get down to the structural issues, the old patterns, the underlying pain, the deep down underlying stuff.
I've been working on those deeper issues for many years, and I'm kind of surprised when I realize that I have changed profoundly. The structural work has taken patience, courage, perseverance, and lots of help, AND it's make a big difference.
Are you digging deep, getting under the surface changes that you want to make? Trust me, it is worth the effort!
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness helps me find peace with my imperfect journey--being with myself as I truly am, loving my family as they are, and showing up for a messy world with openness and compassion.