Again and again, we face the choice.
Someone is doing something irritating/loud/disgusting/wrong/selfish/pathetic/fill-in-with-what-bugs-you and we want to turn away. We want to unfriend them on social media. We want to send them to their room. We want to tell our child to stop playing with them. We want to move out of their neighborhood (or country). We want to cut ourselves off from what bothers us.
I am learning and relearning the wisdom of investing time to connect, listen, and (most of all) speak my truth. The change we need won't come from all of us living in separate compartments, isolated from each other and our conflict. It also won't come from reacting and judging.
So I'm noticing. Going inward to feel what I feel. Sense what's under my feelings--is there a story or judgment? Do I have some history or 'habit energy' with the issue that's up?
Then I can choose what to do. Is my voice needed here? Do I need to speak up in a public way (either for myself or for others)? Would it be useful to speak privately? Is gentleness and tenderness called for? Clarity? Cold, hard truth?
As with all of my learning, it's a trial and error practice.
I'm a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and teacher who has long struggled with the desire to be the perfect person I imagine that I should be. Practicing mindfulness has changed my life, helping me to make peace with myself as I truly am and to appreciate my family, life, and the world as they actually are.