May you know the joy of looking at your child with a non-judging mind!
*I am on retreat this week. Posts will be short, and I'll answer questions, comments, and emails when I return. Best wishes.
Can you make the space today to give a child the gift of your attention? We can offer children, spouses, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, all sorts of people this most precious gift. Most of all, when we pay attention to ourselves in the small moments of our lives, we have more attention and presence to give others.
*I am on retreat this week. I will answer questions, comments, and emails when I return. Wishing you joy!
Can you sense the conditions of happiness that are available to you right now?
*This week, I am on retreat. Posts will be short, and I will answer questions, comments, and emails next week when I return. Wishing you happiness.
Right now, is there anything you are reacting to that isn't real? Anything that isn't as urgent as it seems? Can you breathe into this moment, show up fully here, and let go of drama?
*This week I am on retreat. Posts will be short, and I won't be able to respond to questions, comments, and emails until next week. May you be well!
In each moment, we can choose to build a connection with our children. Make a plan, how do you want to handle your most intense moment today? Can you bring patience, love, and honesty into it?
*This week I am on retreat. Posts will be short, and I will be offline. I'll respond to questions, comments, and emails next week.
There are times, as a parent of older kids, to be weird and wonderful, and other times to just stop being weird. The trick is to know which is which!
Sometimes when I'm with one of my kids and some of their friends, it's clear that they're embarrassed enough just to HAVE a mom, it's not the time to talk much. Other times I feel moved to speak, asking a question or telling a little story. It may be a little awkward, but that's a part of life, right?
I hope my kids will keep learning that it's okay to be kind of weird, to say things that are true and real sometimes, even if they're unfamiliar or a little uncomfortable. I hope they'll see that you can be sensitive to someone's feelings and responsive, and still be your own self in goofy ways.
I hope I'll keep learning how to be my own real self even when someone doesn't appreciate it! And I hope that I keep learning how to back off and stop being weird when necessary.
I've been writing a lot about judgment over the past few days. After yesterday's post about letting our kids see how much we admire them, I started thinking about myself. There have been times when my kids have let me see how they admire me. Not every day, definitely. And there's lots of eye-rolling and cracking on how weird I am in between times. But once in a while, one of them just sees me and let's me know.
Sometimes they mean to do it, maybe it's something they've been thinking about. Other times it just slips out, maybe they assume I already know and just refer to it casually.
Sometimes I minimize or deflect the compliment, something like 'Yeah, it's good I do okay with somethings, I'm usually such a mess.' But I'm learning to savor their good opinion. Learning to know there are lots of things about my parenting that are fabulous, and that my kids actually get and see some of those things. Learning to appreciate the parent-child relationship from another angle.
Do you know how your kids admire you (whether they say it or not)? Take some time to think about it and savor it. If you're really brave, ask them about it.
My life and work are guided by the these core understandings: that all beings (including me!) are capable of transformation and joy, that healthy parenting matters profoundly, and that simple practices can support each of us.